...on my other story page, I will occasionally wax poetic about the process that goes on behind the scenes of writing a story like this one or that one. Given the chapter I just posted, I feel a need to address a certain touchy subject: sexual violence.
I suppose it's a mark of maturity (remember, I wrote the Star Sword stories a good 20 years ago) that I find using sexual violence like rape as a plot device somewhat crude. There are two rape scenes in VbN (here and here), but both are faux rapes where the supposed victim is, in fact, in total control and using their faked vulnerability to lure in prey. I'm subverting the trope, as it were.
But that's now and, for our purposes here, I need to talk about then. Lisa is not in control. Lisa's vulnerability is not faked. She is genuinely and truly being brutalized by Robert O'Malley. As one might presume from what I said above that I'd write these scenes differently now, the truth is I'd keep these scenes intact even feeling the way I do now about misogyny and rape.
The reason for that is simple. I didn't write these plotlines. My friend Jennifer did.
My relationship with her was an interesting one. There are a lot of things between us of which I'm pretty damned ashamed. The word "obsession" is apt here. I wanted Jen as badly as I ever wanted anyone and it clouded my better judgment on numerous occasions. I am extremely grateful that, despite all my failures, we are still friends and still chat from time to time on Facebook.
Jen has been and continues to be a massive influence on my writing. For example, she forms the basis of the character Rebecca in VbN/PbN and for elements of both Gwen and Lisa here in the Star Swords.
We also wrote Star Swords: Shattered, the second Star Swords "novel" together, during my years in college. After doing that, we went back in and revised Star Swords: Forged to better align with the second book. These were joint projects and Jen is the one who wrote significant portions of the material centering on Lisa's abuse and later recovery. In SS2, Lisa (vague spoilers ahead) struggles with PTSD, depression, sexual intimacy, and a whole host of other problems, so it's not as if we ignored the often dire consequences people who suffer from this abuse undergo. We showed it all in all its brutal and tragic detail, or at least as best we could with our writing skill at the time.
There was a reason for all that. Jen was struggling with a number of very difficult and abusive romantic relationships in her life. Writing that material was, I suspect, a way for her to cope with what was going on. Given how I've found writing to be cathartic against my own issues of anxiety and depression, that something I'm not unfamiliar with.
I pray by admitting all this I haven't violated Jen's trust or confidence, but I felt an explanation was in order. Because of her trauma, I'd rather not self-censor this violent material. I believe it helped her and to eliminate it now because we're oh-so-enlightened now in our middle age would be a disservice.
Life is messy and pretending it away doesn't make it less so.
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